memories kept

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ARICIA!!!
hahas if your reading this then good ^^
hope you've had fun today even though it was tiring walking around
^^ Happy Halloween ^^ too
hahas now i get why people say we're twins
cause we're really alike.
i really had lots of fun today =]
hmm ok what we did today
went to but tickets- coraline
hmm lunch at pepper lunch
then ate desert
hmm then the movie coraline
then walked around at orchard
then mrt to compass
then after that looked around for gift
then home sweet home.

hmm didn't have the mood to say what actually happened
for what i can say results sucks.
damn it. how to improve.
failed 3 subjects and is the 3rd last in class
gosh. hmm gonna mug like crazy no matter what.
shall be back...
pics at a l8r date

i don't know if i have made the right choice
this decision was indeed sudden
my dad suggests for me to drop
i don't know what exactly i was feeling.
so on the spot he signed the paper to drop
i hope it'll be better for me. really better.
im feeling kind of lost now
really unsure of what im feeling
anyway out for saturday and sunday
will be back soon

我比想象中爱你
飞的越远越看不见
你阳光下灿烂的笑脸
在天跟海之间那条界线
慢慢的走远
你曾经是我的地平线
你有没有一点想念
我们一起去年的夏天
有种爱的感觉在心里面
那么的强烈
而这一切好象只是昨天
我才发现我比想象中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
还是不可否认地
我比想象中爱你
兰花掠过沙滩变静
我又看见我们的脚印
如果遇见幸福的机率
有千万分之一
不顾一切也要找回你
我才发现我比想象中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认地
我比想象中爱你
终于发现我比想象中爱你
只是一时不小心错过了你
每当夜深人静
我诚实的分析我自己
总会从梦中惊醒
还是不可否认地
我比想象中爱你

*** lols i love melvin didi ***
cheer up okay =]
hope to go out with you again ^^
smiles don't think too much

You may be feeling a little bit of anxiety in terms of romance today, Cancer, and it will be easier for you to see everything that is wrong instead of everything that is right. Be careful what you do with this energy today, as it may lead you into a downward spiral of emotions that could even lead to a depression or serious emotional funk. Whining about what seems wrong will not be productive in this case, and all you need to do here is shake your mood off with a little bit of relaxation. This is not a serious emotional concern when it comes to your romantic progress, and this anxiety is coming from within and not from the situation. You will be able to pass through this period quickly if you don't focus so much on the negative.

nth to blog actually lols

jolene told me this and its true =]

pressing…….. “up + up + down + down + left + right +left + right + B + A + ENTER + Mouse Click” after you logged in to facebook

我们怎么了 - s.h.e
落泪以前再看一眼你模糊侧脸
这会不会是最后纪念
我凝视你而你凝视着窗外的阴天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴边
我搞不懂我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后是否能让什么复活
你的项链还在胸前晃动着昨天
为何回忆会让人晕眩
如果我们继续向前
走进雨里面
会不会有溶解的危险
我搞不懂我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后是否能让什么复活
明明从前连争执都很甜美
现在怎会说句话就能痛一遍
我搞不懂我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后是否住着伤口
我想不通我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后是否能让什么复活
喔`~~~~~~~

well, PH Experience today and it was great
its not because of what but i because of the kids
they were from fernvale
they were awesome!
they are so cute.
through the trail, i seen actually much more of our school
especially media production
it was awesome. truly awesome
and of course having to play the control of robot with the kids at robotics
it seems easy but it is not. hmm overall quite fun
hahas.. i don't know why but these p6 kids are really "crazy" not that crazy but the crazy
it was surely shocking to hear this coming out from a p6
at robotics station [boy got really close beside me]
asks whats my name
me: grace
after that he kept quiet
when leaving our school [got extremely close]
me[scared & weird]
he[this school good?]
me[good]
his friend [everything she also say good one la]
he[whats your favourite food stall?]
me[ no favourite one as generally all very nice]
he[got really really close and asked extremely loud] do you have a boyfriend
me[shocked and blurred]
his friend [ don't care about him. don't care. i know he likes you] wth.. this is damn shocking okay
another one
guy [keeps looking at me]
me[ignore]
me[ignores]
me[ignored]
he[talked to me]
when leaving our school suddenly he walk beside me
he[stared at me] and then said byebye
me[ byebye]
lols these p6 are... scary?? i don't know how to describe them.
but still this trail made a difference
hoping that they do come =]

*p.s. melvin requested for this. hahas he's just jealous that i never type any special message for him but give matin. fine fine ok ^^ here it is. thank you all these while. you were always there for me and listening to me talk nonsense. hahas. edited this :） here to blog more okay =] hahas i really don't know what to say. lol hahas

* kuku and 3rd uncle went back already. i think they reached USA. hahas home sweet home for 3rd uncle. kuku's staying there for another mth and then back canada

i don't what what to do now.
im stuck in this stupid dilemma
to drop or not to drop
i really don't want to
is there any better alternatives
i can't take it just now and as usual broke down lor
thanks man matin bro. yeah i guess you're right.
i always say im alright and im fine. but im not even.
im only trying not to make people worried
but then i myself deep down feels really bad.
i'd rather be the one that is suffering than to get people worried.
now im stuck with dropping or not to drop
i talked to my mum just now and yeah, i didn't want her to worry abt me and so i went to my room and eventually cried.
i don't know but the thoughts of crying made me feel better
but then, when it really comes to crying, the feeling just seems as though there's a verge of breaking down but then, just can't cry out.
this is really making me feel so vexed
really vexed? what will happen if i drop? what will happen if i don't drop? what are the consequences?
i guess, i just need sometime to consider and think about all these. i really need sometime.
yes, people, i am really grateful for all your concerns. it did made me feel better
but still, my feelings are like so mixed up.
i can't seem to make any decision at.
but i guess no matter what decision i make,
still, im going to be brave. pack up all my feelings and most importantly, move on..

well, lunched at swensens today
wow ate lots man
my elder brother kept saying i was fat. lols
im not even. if i am then the others??
he said that for the fact that i could even finish my food last time
but now i ate the appetizer, main course and desert.
yeah swensens ice-cream rocks. lols
kuku paid for the lunch
$116.17 and the receipt is with me
hmm wonder whats for dinner :P
i stopped for a while not doing choir stuff but here to blog.
went to cut my hair today
not much difference
anyway just remembered daddy was talking to me yesterday night
lols and i slept at 1 plus..
hmm daddy bought xbox 360 lols thanks daddy
he was talking to me about holiday
hmm he said we may be traveling near christmas
and he asked me where to go lols
i want to say hongkong because that was where he wanted to go
but then in the end i didn't say a thing at all i just looked at him'
hmm i have this dream which seems impossible now
is to earn lots of money and move into a condo
why? thats because my dad love condo.
lols shall stop for now.

"There's no way to explain, but all the pleasure is worth all the pain." ~LeAnn Rimes

yesterday went clarke quay
ate at the liang court there the novatel hotel
dragon phoenix restaurant
cousin simon's treat.
hahas met little natasha once again. the 2nd time =]
hahas she's really like her horoscope cancer
hahas so emotional
she can laugh this moment and the next cry and laugh again
lols hahas
kuku and 3rd uncle leaving this tuesday
can't send them to the airport
hmm dinner there was great
well, soon the house is going to be quiet again
goods and bads
hmm taxi home.
the trip back home wasn't a good one
had jams. the car was jerking and jerking
making me so dizzy till i want to barf
lucky it was just for 5mins if not i would have really threw up
hmm nth much now..
thanks people for all the concerns. im really alright. no worries ok ^^
thanks alot =]

It is not the form that dictates the color, but the color that brings out the form.
~ Hans Hofmann Quotes

today's promotion day and guess what? i fear..

failures,setbacks, depression... i don't know but to me, its really something hard to acknowledge. its an extreme disappointment for me

Its really very very hard to except the facts. reality always hurts. mr ng talked about the 3 who still had f9 even after the combined results. i can't help but controlled my tears of course. it hurts. i really don't know how... my results just sucks especially chem. f9.. hais

I kept reflecting on my results and that built stress and fear wanting to make me cry. i seriously could not take it that day and broke down. its really really very hurting.. its like some kind of stress or something hard to explain.

people who did well were smiling. As far as i see, those who didn't of course had no reaction then. and i am one of those. i chose not to do anything. for the fact that i had to resist my tears from rolling down once again. i knew that to the others who did well, they know that its great. but to those of us, its just another disappointment and it was devastating.

Mrs Lim came in and talked to us. it was really crap. not that crap but crap in the sense that she scared the hell out of me. mr ng also said those who failed both science would have to drop. damn im one. that very moment it made me feel worse than ever. mrs lim's words was also another one that made me drop to the very bottom. that feeling...

i don't know whats my feeling now. numb? dumbfounded? senseless? i really don't know. yes, people said that i've improved but this is still not i want. i know from the start of the year with only 2 passes, 5 fails, i have changed it to 5 passes, 2 fails.

english from D7 to B4
amaths from F9 to B4
humans from E8 to C6
these are those that i improved.
chinese and e maths maintained at b3 and b4.

but those weren't good enough. i never hit any of my aims. i never felt as bad as before. each setback didn't make me stronger. but instead it made me worse. i really don't know whats my feeling. my heart is still as ??? i don't know whats that...

tears shed doesn't make any difference i know. but then it really i hard to except the fact. it really is hard. but many do not understand that. that kind of pressure in ourselves. i can say yes, i have failed, but so what? im willing to take up the courage to work even hard. rather than to keep on hanging there with no efforts.

Let me tell you, it isn't funny to laugh at those whose result are bad. It really isn't. If you count them as your close ones and friend you shouldn't even be laughing at them. If you do so, you aren't even a friend. You're not worth being friends with them. i really don't know why these people are like these. im not saying anything but can we please be more sensitive?

words can mean lots of things. words can make people happy and words can like people cry. sometimes words said really hurt one. it causes one to cry. sensitivity all i request is just that.
if you can't do that then im sorry. please don't make me blacklist you. because for me to blacklist someone is really hard. and if i do blacklist you then i can tell you. you are really atrocious.

To one failing may not be a big thing. but to some of us its really something really really hard to acknowledge. i just don't know what more can i say about these insensitivity to others. if you are happy so be it. its you yourself. don't go and brag so much about it when people aren't even happy at all. you would only cause that person to hate you. people to hate you for your doings. I'm just feeling sorry for those who felt the way i felt. Not sympathize nor empathize. I'm only trying to make known my own sentiments.

i don't know why but then i cried once more because of the results. please stop making me cry. its really insensitive. i really hate you!!! i know you have done better than me so what? look at yourself now. Think about it. Reflect about it. Are you good? If you think you are, its just self denial. I can tell you you aren't at all.

I guess i have enough of all these things. Really enough. Enough is Enough! I don't want to get this setback once again.

"I never thought it could be so hard to lose something I never really had!" ~Unknown

went out with melvin didi today
whoot just rocks man
thanks alot
hmm i don't know whats my feeling like but i guess a little better?
hmm actually not going de at 1st
ytd night actually backed out
but then morning mum say can then ok lor
hmm had lots of fun
eating lunch at new york new york
then walked around
then went to eat anderson's ice cream
then went to watch movie.
hehe got free tickets thats why go watch.
hmm watched 500 days of summer
quite boring...
then after that went home
thanks didi for the treats.
enjoyed lots XD

"To continue loving somebody even though there's no chance of that love ever thriving - that's romance." ~Unknown

well blogging here again today
went to eat at ajisan
hmm im not sure if i saw wrongly but i think i saw mr terrence toh.
it guess if im not wrong it really was him
i looked at him he looked at me
but i decided to walk away because he's girlfriend
lols when i walk infront of him and then i turn back they were gone
lols hmm this really brings back some memories of WYCF yeah
hmm i don't know why but it just suddenly appears in my mind.
everything.
the songs especially child of destiny
the song with the most meaningful lyrics
hmm lots and lots of memories
soon its going to be 1 year after this event i guess 1 more mth and it'll be a year?
wow thats long. time flies
really fast yeah.
hmm feeling real tired shall go off now..
let the song tarry on...
tarry on...

hmm tmr going out with melvin didi. so sad joey can't go lor. was hoping she could go.
dunno whats for lunch l8r may go out again whee love going out lols
hmm nth much to blog now.
no pictures to upload yet
3 weeks 3 days to phone contract over. means 11.11
shall blog again

"It hurts to see you walk away. For admit it or not, you were an important part of my life and the time we shared will forever be a part of me. So even though I realize that it was never meant to be, still, it hurts."

went out to bugis today with my family
shopped at OG and along the shops by the streets
bought lots of stuffs.
i dunno but just craving to shop all day..
get rid of my moody mood i guess
bought a new jacket =]
rocks just the type i wanted hoodie plain black was only $17.50 after 20% discount at OG 5th aunt paid for it. thank you =]
hmm then went the shop houses... went new city hmm if im not wrong spent about $60 or more there? on just 4 shirt and 2 shorts
im not sure coz my kuku paid for it.. hahas thanks kuku
hmm dinner at chinatown again..
hmm 1st uncle paid for it once again
hehe gonna put on lots of weight ar.. every week go restaurant eat like 2 or 3 times
hais its a week since im having sore throat.
this is really bad.. need to drink lots of water and rest well.
shall stop blogging for now.

"It hurts to see you walk away. For admit it or not, you were an important part of my life and the time we shared will forever be a part of me. So even though I realize that it was never meant to be, still, it hurts."

back blogging again
hais results... sucks...
i dun like it. i dun understand why
chinese, chemistry...
my aim... perished...
really really disappointing.
my heart sank to the very bottom.
hais... chinese 41.5/70 ~ 59.3% people may think its good already but then... to me its not well done. its a C5
chemistry is worse... 31/100... what is this? F9!
hais i dun know how i am going to tell my parents this. its really... hais
my 1st aunt was talking about my cousin ytd
everytime exam either before, during or after will have fever. the doctor say dun give him stress.
i think its not the mum that is giving the stress. is he himself thats giving himself the stress.
like what i believe, i am one who also stressed myself too much thats why like tt
im really really afraid of my result..
chemistry is down.
humans is know gone as well..
hais... my feelings are extremely mixed up right now.
i really dunno what this feeling is.. wanting to cry? i dunno.
hais i am not really in any mood at all. can't admit but, yes i cried at home. but not infront of my mum. i dun want to get them worried
i have been disappointing them lots. i really... hais... i dun want to blog for now..

"what is right is to end wrong things instantly , rathering then letting it hurt everyone for a longer period of time"~ melvin hahas

"Love hurts when you know you've hurt the person that means the world to you.I want you to know that I don't regret a single moment I spent on you."

1st uncle and aunt's coming over
aunt's going to cook lunch =]
whoot. nice =] her cooking rocks its damn nice
hmm actually supposed to go out with jingxuan,chuting, renyi to k today but then i didn't go
having a really bad sore throat its been like 4 days already?
gosh... i want to get well quickly
its really so uncomfortable...
its like so cham la.
but then no choice.
renyi no worries ok. if u are then sms me. sorry that im not going.
hmm just hope that your have fun at k =]

"We look at each other differently, the spark is fading fast. It hurts to be without you, yet I just put on a smile and keep walking."

went out with teresa in the afternoon
went to do choir camp stuffs
was at the library
hahas can't stop laughing at this "好想好好爱你"
hahas only teresa and i understand
insider joke
lols this is really a joke which was too funny
laugh till my face was so hot.
hmm nothing much also
hmmm shall stop blogging for now

I don't regret anything I did, because if things had happened differently then I wouldn't have met you, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you, and I wouldn't have smiled so much.

back from chinatown again.
saw jocelyn when i was going to chinatown hahas
when coming back, i saw pearlie
hahas my long last best friend hadn't seen her for long =]
hmm dinner was great.
lols i guess i put on lots of weight these few mths
keep eating at restaurants lols
and eating more then usual
hmm as usual, i'm sick again
my mum was like why u cannot wait until after exam then sick
left last paper only lei.
lols i was like jokingly say hahas ask my body why so weak lor.. lols hahas
was feeling really bad yesterday afternoon
freezing like crazy. its like studying phyics, doing tys halfway i felt headache.
so i just go to bathe, then after coming out felt cold. extremely cold.
mum, aunt wasn't at home
so i had no choice but to take panadol myself and went to sleep
morning was having sore throat so i thought was nth much who know it ended up having fever
but now not as bad already. fever subsided. went to school still.
hmm shall stop blogging for now.

"Love is always a good thing no matter how much it hurts. Even after it's over, even through the pain, anyone who has ever really loved will tell you that they never regretted a second of it, no matter how much it hurt in the end. " =]

exam's finally over! yes! back to blogging again lols
no school tomorrow! yeah lols
nth much to blog abt yet shall be back lols

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DADDY
gosh i dun even remember daddy's birthday.
omg la. gosh gosh how can
hais daddy dote on me the most yet i dun even remember it
hais extremely stressed up with exams
and some other things
but then hais nvm
shall not post much