memories kept

Nov 25

Pei Hwa Alumni Annual dinner at PHSS yesterday
nothing much i guess
just food
and really nothing much to do..
here's some pictures

my ex Council President! :D was telling him that i miss our exco council meetings and the "outing" we had after meetings.

My ex School principal hahaha she remembers me :D

and Gena :) hehe we look like sisters. coincidentally last year we wore black but this year we wore pink

Nov 23

I'm back! Been a really busy and tough week. Guess what? My event is finally over! So relieved and happy even though i was really kinda like upset and i wanted to cry during the event. To say, i really felt an ache as to how the emcees were and screwing up the whole event. It was like building up a house and setting a fire to burn it down. How sad can that be.. but all in all, everything is well at the end of the day. I really learnt a lot :) from sponsors, booth takers, from my lovely mates :) i really love them ♥ teehee~ it's like we've all grown closer all of a sudden and i really love this feeling.

I've learnt how people can be like, their character, you know, people in this world are just plainly self-fish, idiotic, retarded. Please do not be offended because i don't mean for anyone to be but just stating the fact. You might hate me for what i say but i don't really care. I've learnt how harsh reality can be. Nothing beats the last week where everything was literally crashing down on my and nothing was going right. i really felt i needed a break.

Indeed it was really tough for me for the past few weeks with all the rushing of all the things yet having to cope for my studies. Didn't even have the time to do my tutorials. So tired. getting home everyday practically at 12am and waking up at 6am daily. just plain like a super woman! I only had 3 hours of sleep the day before the event because we're all rushing our things.

Slept at Teresa's house :) teehee! Thanks girl! :D and then the next morning, we had to go down and collect the bread. To make matters worse, we had an exam in the morning. Though my eyes were swollen i know i'm awake and filled with energy and strength to fight the battle. Well, at least everything is over and it's a success!

I've got another event tomorrow and i hope all can be well :) i just need a break. But sadly, exams is in 2 weeks time and i've yet to study. Really need God to help me with this. I need to know what to study. Maximize my full use of time and effort and everything that i study shall come out. Prays. Shall leave for now

Nov 12

starting to feel stressed out again. argh.
as the event gets nearer i'm more panicky and thinking of the exam work and all..
man.. gonna have to start studying
God...
anyway, i'm in the midst of waiting for the next class
i didn't buy any food
and not hungry at the moment
sigh.. guess tmr i'll be sanding the plastic sheet for the event again
prays there will be more people registering for the event..
All shall be well..
all shall be well..
gonna have to prepare for Gened exam soon, haven't prepared any newspaper article and it's my 1 minute speech coming Wednesday :( worried
gonna have to let go and let God.
somehow, my confidence is gone.. :(

“life is all about making choices, we get to choose one among the many, and the one we choose defines our future and destiny.The rest of your life is being shaped right now with the dreams you chase, the choices you make and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now.”

A person may plan his journey, but the Lord directs his steps. Sometimes we lose our directions along the way. We wonder what are we doing right now, where are we heading. How would our future be like? Will it be better or for the worse? But for me, i guess i'm just going to rest and let God directs all my steps. :)

Through the journey in life, i know what i want and what i don't want, i know what i like and what i dislike through different incidents. And where i am right now is showing me what i want and what i don't want. I like to serve people but i don't like to communicate with people. I'm an observer i don't like to talk. I communicate better through writing than expressing myself through speech.

Some what contradicting but not the same. Through different modules that i learn in school i know what i really like. And for my dream, is to start my own business one day. I've got the concept somehow and i guess God planted it in there. But it's just not the time yet. I see myself doing that as my career in future :) happy! haha!

But for now, i'm just going to study hard. do well in my exams. And even this, i'm going to let God reign and bless my results. Only through him only will i be able to exceedingly, abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us...

yeaps! i've gotten the results i wanted for the last sem and i'm believing Him for the same results or even better than the one i have right now! Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. Indeed! :) God is good! ♥

Looking forward to every single day- rejoice for today is the day the Lord has made!

一起坐摩天轮的恋人最终会以分手告终
但当摩天轮达到最高点时
如果与恋人亲吻
就会永远一直走下去
　　
传说摩天轮的每个盒子里都装满了幸福
当我们仰望摩天轮的时候
就是在仰望幸福
　　
幸福有多高
摩天轮就有多高
当我们渴望得到幸福但幸福又迟迟没有到来的时候
试着坐上摩天轮等待它慢慢升高
直到最顶端
俯视所看到的一切
　　
其实我们所要的幸福很简单
从那里往下看
人都匍匐在脚下
　　
我相信
世界很大
但总有属于我们简单的幸福
所以
当我们感到不幸福的时候
试着去仰望摩天轮
等待着所谓的幸福高度
　　
他们说
眺望摩天轮的人都是在眺望幸福
我们仰望它的时候
是不是已经得到了幸福？
　　
他们说，摩天轮的每个格子里都盛放着幸福。我很想和最爱的人一起坐上摩天轮，站在风的上面，开放属于两个人的幸福。
而现在我只能站在轮回下，仰望着幸福，然后低下头快步离开。也许我会一直都仰起头。他们说这样，眼泪不容易流下来。
幸福其实和摩天轮是一样的，转啊转啊，一圈又一圈的来来去去，没有停留，但是总是会义无反顾的回来，没有意外，也没有停歇。但是，我没有入场券。
所以，摩天轮幸福得很孤单。
　　
有人说。摩天轮是为了和喜欢的人在一起。
才跨越天空而存在的。慢慢的，
天空的颜色变蓝。
摩天轮的幸福就象天空一样的高远，广阔。
它带给我们的幸福，是一种缓慢的，宁静的，安稳的幸福。
近在咫尺，却远在天边。
我们一直在努力，尝试着接近幸福，
天一样高的幸福。
摩天轮比我们先做到。
所以，
它成了我们幸福的化身。
　　
天空的颜色斑斓得眩目，一旁安静的摩天轮饰演着安静。
默默地，给人们传递幸福。
幸福就像游乐场的摩天轮,要转一大圈才能找到,而且
是不能回头的...

Nov 7

i'm back!
and guess what i looked at the calandar and i've only been to school twice since November started
how awesome is that hahah!
but not the part about being sick
i stayed home today again and of course i went to the doctor
i went home ytd night and i told my mum after bathing.. i don't wanna go school tmr
and i started crying lols
stressed out :( - part of the reason i wanna skip school
and i said i wanna go to the doctor.. since i'm still sick and i've got no more medication left
i was coughing badly ytd and i wanted to vomit
and so i didn't drink much water
anyway, coming back, i went to the doctor and i was given another 4 medication
flu, phlegm, cough... and because of the cough i'm having 6 pack now. my muscles are aching on the stomach and really hard
and if you thought i typed 4 wrongly because i only mentioned 3? nope. it's 4
and the very last one is for cold sore.
man! i hate this
i went online to do some research about it..
it's cased by stress and some other reasons.
which i think in my case it's stress.
hmm.. to tell you, it hurts on the lips. it's some kind of blister which might burst if its worse
eww and ouch
but thank God, the doctor saw and it's only the first stage :)
yes, i'm to apply some cream and that leaves me unable to eat or drink.. man...
hope all will be well..
for now i am to avoid hot beverage,spicy and salty foods, and citrus... :(
no sharing of food and beverage that i consumed..
no rubbing my eyes if i happen to touch it with my hands..
so many restrictions. i guess i just need to get well soon..
hmm.. this is a rather lengthy post
bye readers :)

　　此时，窗外的雨淅淅沥沥的下着。忽然，感觉一个人的心有些倦了，更有些迷茫。在一个这么阴沉的雨天我感触良多，有如骨鲠在喉不吐不快。精致所致，金石为开。我不断地努力告诉自己一定要坚持，就像自己当初为了承诺而出现，这是一份承诺，也是一份誓言。只是，不知道一个人还能坚持多久；只是，不知道一个人还要守候多久。更不知道那份相思的记忆何时才能继续明天的故事……

最近的我总是一个人吃饭，一个人到处走走，一个人看书，自己对话谈心。不知心又飘到了哪里，就连自己看也看不清。一个人的夜晚，一个人的等待。不记得这是第几个夜晚了，也不记得这是多少次的等待了。只是知道一个人依然在坚持，依然在等待。

　　一个人想，一个人走，一个人笑，一个人哭，一个人伤心，一个人从有心到无心，一首歌从有情到无情，这是我现在的心情，也是我对你执着的感情。现在的我，正在聆听着好多好多耳熟能详的歌曲。每首的里的歌词就如描写着我心灵所表达不出的心情。在表达不出的感触之中歌词却能够描述得很清楚、很详细。

　　一个人的世界，一个人听歌，一个人走路，一个人喝咖啡，一个人难过，一个人开心，一个人自言自语，一个人自哼自唱，一个人坐在咖啡厅发呆，看看路人，一个人等待月落晨起，一个人走过风风雨雨，或许很寂寞，很孤单。

　　一个人有种莫名的安全感，却又有种莫名的寂寞，以前不习惯的但渐渐的都习惯了。一个人的精彩，因为一个人的世界，只有一个人懂。相遇，相识，相知。相遇是邂逅，相识是缘分，相知是快乐。那么现在还剩下了什么，想着对于我来说只有煎熬了，在一种等待中的煎熬。

　　一个人，好久好久没有听平静如水的音乐了。譬如，有些事，我们活到现在，仍不明了；譬如，有些爱，明明认认真真的去爱，不知道到底有多少人最后可以得到。

　　夜，相思夜。无尽的长夜漫漫，缠绵的情思悠悠。谁人知，深藏在心中的那份痛楚。谁人解，深埋在记忆的那份往事。很久了，更多的时候想忘却，就像是我的思念。无数次的想遗忘记忆，无数次的徘徊在感情的谷底，无数次的挣扎在情感的深渊。知道，这样很累。知道，这样很傻。但是，总有那么样的一段刻骨的爱，也总有那么样一段铭心的情。那是记忆？还是对往事的久久不能释怀？

　　夜，夜深人静的夜。时间已经很晚了，依然没有一丝睡意。一个人的孤单，未曾有过的寂寞心情被这暗夜层层包裹。挣扎，哭嚎。一切都无济于事，这一切也都被夜冷冷的嘲笑着，就像在嘲弄着情感的小丑。

　　为什么？为什么将我抛弃在情感的深渊？为什么？为什么将我遗忘在错位的空间？昨天的梦已不能再续，选择了在边缘的游走。我就像尘世的飘零，随风而逝，找不到爱的归宿；我就像漂泊的孤舟，随波飘荡，找不到停靠的港湾。岁月变迁，时空变幻，我在等待中老去。千年一梦，万世苍凉，我在守望中死去……

　　夜那么静，静的让人有点想流泪；生活那么苍白，苍白得让人有点无力；现实那么残酷，残酷得让人有点悲哀；感觉那么清晰，清晰得让人有点虚伪；疼痛那么真实，真实得让人有点麻木 ……

有时候觉得我安静起来确实可怕，冷得让人难以接近，甚至可以把人击垮。其实这只是一种自我保护，一种内心脆弱的真实写照。心都冷了，还有什么会是温暖的呢？脑子里一下子闪过好多人，只是都如烟花般一瞬随即消逝。试着用左手握住了右手，给了自己最简单的温暖。不再奢求别人我总是喜欢在如此孤独的夜里，翻起过去，那些被自己深埋心底的往事，得到的，拥有的，失去的，有种恍然如梦的感觉。一直都很明白，自己是不该沉迷于过去的，忘记不该记住的，忘却一切，那样才能换来短暂的轻松。其实我是害怕深夜的，会有一种无尽的寂寞袭向我；我却又喜欢深夜，因为只有周围漆黑一片，我和我的泪才是安全的。

　　想起了曾经说过的一句诺言，如今却明白感情其实并非自己所能控制，没有人知道明天会发生什么，既然拥有着，就学会享受吧。也许存在才有希望，不要等到有一天爱情失去了原本的色彩，诺言也就一文不值了。这世上的事有开始就会有结束，感情亦如此吧。等到游戏结束的那一刻，是毁灭还是解脱，也只能独自承受。

　　是谁说过，有爱就不会受伤害；是谁说过，有爱就不会分开。我只知道，当我想起这些话的时候会心疼。天知道我多么需要如此爱的温暖，如果可以，我希望在生命终结的那一刻，还可以安心的拥有着。只是，在你冷漠的话语中，我知道这一切都已经埋葬在了所谓的幸福中，彻底的失去了。曾经把爱深深埋在了心底，以为这样才是最安全的，却不知如此的距离也将自己伤的最深。

　　爱是两个人感情的寄托，也是两个人真心的走在一起的，生活中都离不开爱，没有爱的生活毫无意义，就象两个没有感情的活在一起，不但是身体的折磨，而且是心灵的腐朽，精神的摧残，太物质化的东西不会长久，太现实化的问题只是一种空想，太爱一个不爱自己的人只是另一个的负担，太相信一个人的承诺只会更加的失去自我！最后只能托着疲惫不堪的身体躲在无人的角落一个人哭泣！

　　海誓山盟的感情，对于现在的现实生活也许只是一种妄想，太多的感情都存在于金钱与理性之间，而往往金钱却更胜一筹，记得有人这样的告诉我，现在的社会，有钱就有感情，有时甚至感情在金钱面前一文不值，虽然这句话太过于极端，但他也真正的体现了现在人对生活的一种渴望，对物质生活的渴望，并不是说这样选择生活的人就是贪婪，因为每个人选择生活的方式不同，一个问题站在不同角度，去想，去看，他体现出来的意义就不一样，但也不要被现实冲昏了头脑！没有面包的爱情不会长久。

　　参照周围的感情，曾经觉得自己是幸福的。只是突然发现，自己的手心和手背都是冰凉的，竟然找不到可以取暖的东西。那样的我还是幸福的吗？我是不是一直都在自欺欺人，也许这个世上本没有谁是谁的谁，我只能妥协，在爱情面前，向寂寞低头。原来，爱与不爱都是寂寞的。爱比不爱更寂寞。

　　有时候觉得我安静起来确实可怕，冷得让人难以接近，甚至可以把人击垮。其实这只是一种自我保护，一种内心脆弱的真实写照。心都冷了，还有什么会是温暖的呢？脑子里一下子闪过好多人，只是都如烟花般一瞬随即消逝。试着用左手握住了右手，给了自己最简单的温暖。不再奢求别人的给予，开始学着自己给自己。

编辑：刘小云

我现在的心情就如作者所描写的一样。

yes, another post for today
i and really need to say this: Blessings and Grace came and reigned

How should i put this? i believe in efficiency yet perfect work and sincere work with effort placed in.
And i love my group mates for this ♥ haha if u guys are reading this! I love you! ♥

Anyway, in our lives there will surely be people who are simply jealous? And guess what? i don't really care because God says "No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.

I guess they're jealous of the unearned, unmerited and undeserved favor, grace, blessings that i receive :) People are judgmental with everything. So what if we do it fast? It is our "problem". You do not have to compare us with you guys because we were never at the same level. I always believe that we're better not because of our own works but because of God's grace, God's favor and His blessings. I really don't care. I'm looking to God alone. He is faithful. He is love. He is grace. He is everything that i need Him to be.

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect
-and I don’t live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers…
make sure you hands are clean!” - Bob Marley

And if there's someone that need to point a finger at me? and that will be God. But God who can, will not and others that will, cannot. what makes me up is flaw after flaw. but neither do i think i could handle being perfect in every way. and even just in one way. because the price of living life the way i do is imperfection. and i’m okay with that because i get to live the life i want- with God.”

You shouldn't judge people just because you have different rules and ideas and i'm telling you that my life isn't your business. so stop obsessing over me and mine, you should start focusing on your own life. because you know what…while you are sitting there judging my life, yours is passing you by. Live your life.. because the more you are jealous over me, the more BEAUTIFUL and Loved I feel. because of what God did ;) Praise God!

I'm not going to stop here but i'm continuing..

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”

When people throws rocks at you, dodge them, laugh and move on. Don’t stumble over the stones,just walk around them and keep moving forward. We can’t control what others say or do to us, but we can control how we react and let it affect our lives. and i choose to forgive. Goodnight people :)

Nov 2

It's been almost a month since i last blogged and It's already November. I've got lots of things to talk about and so i shall start. Time flies. In a blink of an eye 2012 is almost over. Christmas is coming soon and i'm so excited! :) can't wait for Christmas! :) wonder how i'm going to celebrate this festive season this year.

That aside, school has started and it's going to be the forth week soon. so fast that i could hardly ever breathe. Couldn't catch my breath. Hadn't had my rest. And guess what? i've fallen sick. Was just feeling a little blue on 31 Oct and gloomy and so i headed out to catch up with the word. Went home and started feeling even worse. I didn't bother, i thought i was just tired due to lack of sleep but guess what? though i was feeling so uncomfortable, i couldn't bring myself to stop doing work. TADA! Knock out! Burnt out. And so i stayed home yesterday and today.

Went to the doctor and bill was a bomb! $50. Know what? when you don't rest, your body will tell you to. And it's even worse because you need double the amount of time to rest. And so i was just sleeping and lazing around in my room like a pig. Yeaps and so i'm on medication :( due to upper respiratory tract infection. Been falling sick a lot after catching different viruses at different times. Prays. Been having lots of throat infection this year. All shall be well. Prays for perfect healing so i do not have to fall sick, i do not need to watch what i eat or drink. Prays that i can take caffeine and lactose. It sucks not to be able to take coffee or tea, not being able to eat ice-cream filled with cream or certain milk. All shall be well.

Anyway, been doing work in school and so stressed out and burnt out. Overwhelmed. But guess what? God knows. Was just getting people to come to my event and i feel so loved for the reply that i received. I was told that God's favour and wisdom with you in this whole project. Indeed! only with Him was i able to get 300 file pouch i needed form daiso! God can place us at the right place at the right time. I was at doby on a monday night but i was thinking of going to daiso to ask if they have 300 file pouch. But i was hungry after night class, so i decided to eat first. and by the time i finished, i'm tired so i decided to go back doby the next day.

And when i went back, i was told that a customer cancelled an order of 260 files! Trust me, it was not by chance. I feel so loved and blessed! ♥ God knows what we're going through. Coming back to what i was told, even though i may be going through tough time-IP, which is like the (storm) God is with me. He is greater than our problems, there is peace, shalom peace. Even as i cry out "I'm overwhelmed" i can still do my IP with ease because God is with me. Keep praising Him even when times are hard. Once the storm is over, i'm going over to the OTHER SIDE. I'm not going under or below but OVER! Really blessed and loved.

I know God is with me throughout this project because file pouch is not only the incident. God also secured people for the event from the business school. He sent someone to talk to me and i was surprised. And because of that there are 71 people :) secured! :) Praise God! There is more blessings to come! Fall afresh on me! I just gotta rest, rest in His embrace.

I guess some of you reading this might think i'm crazy but trust me i'm not. God is just simply good! :)

smile and be grateful today:)
take care.

smile and be grateful today:)
take care.