memories kept

Well, I really don’t have much to say. Upset, yes. Tired, hell yes. But getting through life with all these struggles? Been there, done that. I’m used to these feelings, and I know exactly how to deal with everything that life throws at me. But hopefully, sometime soon, I won’t have to go through half the emotions I have to right now.

To let go isn’t to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, and overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It’s learning, experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon again. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It’s realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path, and to set you free.

Thanks to those who hated me, you made me a stronger person. Thanks to those who loved me, you made my heart bigger. Thanks to those who envied me, you made my self-esteem grow. Thanks to those who cared, you made me feel important. Thanks to those who worried, you let me know that you care. Thanks to those who left, you showed me that not everything is forever. Thanks to those who stayed, you showed me the meaning of true friends. Thanks to those who entered my life, you made me who I am today.

I don’t know what happened. How we all became so fragile, so incredibly breakable. I don’t know why my tears can fall so easily yet every single one feels like I’m failing at this facade of being happy, fine, and alive. I don’t understand how missing someone can quietly kill you and how an unrequited love, just robs you of this sense of hope we all should have. I can’t comprehend how everyone thinks I’m so strong, and brave, when all I feel is weak and scared. I don’t know when this happened, when life became like this. Because looking back, it’s always been this way.

All I know is, no matter how much people hurt you, no matter how much you want to give up, and no matter how often the sun does not shine, you just need to keep going. Because for all the hurt that one person gives you, there are 10 others who care. For all the things that make you want to give up, there are so many things out there that are worth living for. And for all the days that seem cloudy and dark, just know that the sun is there, just waiting on its chance to shine.

May 2011 be a better year ahead

Vivo ^^ with aricia twin :D

watched gulliver's travel

then haagen dazs

then we met jin for dinner at secret recipe

then haagen dazs again

'One Fine Day
All Of Us Will Get Busy
With Our Lives…..
Long Working Hours
No Moving Around In Groups
Less Contacts With Friends
And Even Lesser Messages/Sms

We Won’t Have Time For Ourselves
On One Such Day
You Will Look Outside Of Window
And See The Good Old Memories
Flash By You
And You Will Get A Smile
On Your Face And Probably
A Tear In Your Eyes
And You Will Turn Back
To Your Work Thinking

“I Wish I Could Go Back”.

i was clearing unwanted pics on my com and guess what, so many photos and it brought back so many memories.
i really missed those times in school.
with the council, with the choir, with the class, with friends..
i wondered, what happens to all these memories when all of us leave?
4 years. so long yet so short.
those hardships and hard reality.
people trying to pull us down.
people trying to perfect things.
demands, achievements, expectations.
when we leave, these will only be the footstep left in our memories.
i missed the awesome council exco. those rubbish we talk about during our meetings.
those lunch after our meeting. those words of concern. those reasonable understandings.
i missed choir. dedicated teachers.
members pursuing a dream. having a same goal.
syf next year, best of luck everyone.
i'd nvr wanna think back of the previous one because it just leaves me with tears.
it's like the most sour part of my life.
deep down no matter what, it still hurts me the most.
i missed those classmates of mine.
always being there when i needed them.
being absent from school like always.
nvr was like a day or 2 but always by weeks.
that fall of mine caused me not to walk for like 3.5 mths.
awful but it was made better with the help of my friends!
thanks everyone.
i still rmb how sorrowful i was as it was my bdae. aww... ;D
friends of other schools and still in touch with.
u guys were really great! though it's really been a long time since we met but ya..
that friendship that lasts and it will continue on.
we've all grown from the past.

oh well, 2010's coming to an end.
hope it'll be a better year for everyone.
it was really great for me nor was it really bad.
on average it was ok la uh..
alright tmr's choir's post christmas party.
am looking very forward to it.
if only teresa mummy could be there too.
hahaha ok ok ;D shall post soon!

to say, i'm missin' childaid really a lot.

i miss the process and the care and concern of everyone.

strangers they maybe as they pass through your life.

but so what? they do mean something in one part of your life

ain't it true?

a question stuck me when angela asked me "why are u so inclined and crazy about childaid."

it set me thinking.

not only did that question made me think, it was also because of what mr tan ck said to me.

i went back for alumni meeting in the morning 7.30am. i slept at 2.30am yet i went to the meeting and i had childaid on that day too!

it was the most important day as it was gala night.

he talked to me.

firstly, the moment i came to school, he asked me to think about it on getting into the exco.

i was really reluctant to do so. really very reluctant.

but i thought about it. too much to think about i guess.

i thought back from the very start of the day when i was in sec 1.

perhaps there's just too many memories that have filled me up through these years in pei hwa and i think it's one of the way i can give back.

it made me who i am today.

it reminded me of my student council pledge.

"pledge to serve with pride, dignity and dedication".

"TO SERVE" that was the key word!

he said "i'm very happy that you guys who have childaid actually made a decision to come to the meeting. it actually means that you've made a choice to cherish what you wanted. and it also means that it's something that you're looking forward to. you've made a choice and u cherish every opportunity given to you."

it really dawned upon me.

the things that he said to me really got me thinking.

yes, i took up the position in exco as a deputy president.

even to think about it now, i'm excited and happy. not to brag about it or anything but i'm proud that i decided to take up the post.

mr ong cp spoke about a lot things. but mainly kampong spirit.

one thing that i just can't stop dwelling on is about "commitment".

how far are you willing to commit how far are you willing to give.

ms thien spoke about the willingness to give and to share.

we all are far more lucky compared to the people in the past and others who are in need.

perhaps, all these that i've been thinking about all adds up to only one word. "PASSION"

thinking back of the memories that were still etched in my mind.

all those activities with the council and the choir.

all the cip that i did.

it really all adds up to passion.

the passion to help, the passion to lead, the passion to commit, the passion to give.

i guess, for those who know me well enough would have known that i would go all way to do something that i like.

and what more doing my very best and enjoying every moment i have and every chance i was given.

before childaid, i was very afraid i would be given a job where by i would not be happy doing.

but upon seeing the sph ppl and them "fighting" for me and the heart warming feeling by them and the praises they gave and the way they express their thoughts of me going back to help.

it made me realise how important i am to someone and how much i was worth.

perhaps all these while i was just afraid that i would be unwanted and not looked upon.

from childaid and the alumni meeting, i've seen how much i am being looked upon and of course, it gave me more confidence then ever.

having doubt upon myself every time, i guess, now i shan't.

it always takes someone to believe in you that you start believing yourself.

ironic but that's life.

back to the very first question.

why am i so inclined?

i just love helping others without anything in return.

just 5 days that i can commit to. i've did what i can to help the needy.

without each and everyone in childaid, it wouldn't be a success.

be it little minor roles or whatsoever, it means a lot to the needy people.

i believe in taking chances, grabbing every opportunity.

opportunities do not come twice.

once it's gone, it'll never be the same.

make believe and do your very best..

i'm willing to commit, to help, to serve, to give.

even if it's just a little it would help.

i could have used those days to go work but i did not.

instead i went to help for a charity event. why? i just can't explain. but that's just me.

i've learnt a lot from each event and it has made me grow.

memories. a way of holding on to the feelings that u once felt even though it fades away.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! :D

Life can be messy sometimes. But instead of mourning over it, Live. Laugh off the downfalls, and stand back up. Notice how rainbows form and take time to watch the sun rise. Feel the wind on your face and listen to the laughter of children. Be happy, because by the end of the day, nobody wants to sleep with a troubled heart. ♡

Everything is changing. Day by day, we don’t notice it, but just look back over the past year and you will realize everything has. People you thought were going to be there forever aren’t, and people you never imagined you’d be speaking to are now some of your closest friends. Life makes little sense, and older we are the less sense it will make. So make the most of now, before it all changes once again, because in the near future, all that’s left would be memories.

We make all sorts of decisions and choices everyday and we end up doing things; some we wish we had never done, some we wish we could relieve over and over again. But all of these make us for who we are. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn’t be who we are now so just live, make mistakes, learn from them and never doubt who you are, where you’ve been and where you’re going.

hey all! i'm back to blog!
finished work! ;D only 2 days!
well, was kinda ok i guess.
i've got lots of cuts and injuries but oh well.
went presbyterian high school to work.
popular bookstore. worked only ytd and today.
ytd pack and shift stuff to canteen.
today sell books to sec 1s coz registration day.
tired and hungry. sweaty and smelly! D:
how sucky. but oh well, it's an experience.
not very much of a difficult job to me coz i used to do that when i was in council.
have not exercised for a long time so i'm having muscle aches and all. D:
but nvm ;D time to workout! hehe but am very lazy.
ya, and on 21st was bored and i decided to head to vivo and then to rws.
hahaha i must be really mad. but to say, i really miss childaid.
what's more to say of course my lovely stagehands and sph crews. not forgetting the performers and SP friends! love them lots!
to say, childaid actually opened me up alot.
in childaid, u see the side of me that you've nvr seen,
i'm not the quiet one nor am i the shy one.
i take up all opportunities and give everything my best shot.
i am alert and organizes everything tt i need to do. be it calling for my members or taking the call from the sph ppl.
i just can't really explain how much it means to me.
well, working at PHS made me back to the normal me.
silent, quiet, not very open, don't speak up.
and yes, was working early in PHS and guess what?
i saw mr chan!!!! omg! can't believe.
i was like inside popular talking to my friends and then all of a sudden i see someone looking in and i happened to look out and it's mr chan!
hahaha omg man! i didn't expect to see him. but ya, just so happy and glad!
well, i did made new friends in this work but ain't so close.
candy was the cashier with me at first but after tt i got to know elaine she's much friendlier and it made me better.
i felt kinda alone for sometime but luckily she was there.
haha and yes, i'm working with my pri sch best friend Li En. ;D
she intro me to this job ^^
haha she didn't have the time to really talk to me but ya, still thanks a lot to her. ;D
she hasn't really changed much but well, friendship goes a long way, it's been many years and i believe it would continue on.

18 dec

Han Tiong and I ;D

stage hands ^^

abby, eshele, me, angela, clio, desmond goh behind, desmond lim

phss helpers and abby, eshele and daniel

me, Lin choo

shahrena, me

yenuo, charmaine toh, me

esther and i

me, wee, meryl

mao xiang and i

edwin and i

jenna and i

joshua and i.

oh well, someone shouted: youngest couple of the year

ZZZ..

then someone sent a friend request =.= on fb saying:
Hey sorry I juz adding everyone. Hope Youu dun mind I am NOT tt guy who said hey babe (: so yeahh hes an asshole sorry bout him :x.