i don't know if anyone still reads this blog but i'm still going to blog anyway.
It's very much been of a long time since i felt that i had last rested.
staying up late till work is complete and forcing myself to be in the momentum of carrying on studying at night
i forced myself so much that my body now says take a break
i'm on MC today and it feels really terrible
but it's alright. i really needed this
exams are nearing and i can't afford to lose any second
better to be sick right now than during exams it'll be worse.
there's been really a lot of stuff that has been lingering in my mind which needs to be addressed
and perhaps a lot of inner healings needed for me
not wanting to look back to the past but many unhappy memories have been haunting me of my childhood
perhaps its time for me to look forward and to move on :)
frankly speaking i realised i'm no longer the quiet person that i used to be
maybe still yes but a little more vocal
it feels really great to be able to be myself in front of someone
someone who caused me to open up
someone whom i can be myself without being judged
we humans are always judgmental but it really doesn't matter
not to me anymore.
i don't really bother as to how someone may look at me
how someone would think of me.
maybe i do at times, but just not that conscious anymore :)
i'm letting myself set free.
i'm living life the way i want it to be.
as much as i hate many many things.
but i know they are good for me.
i'm going to live it up, let it go, live life they way i'm comfortable with :)
i'm not going to say yes all the time, but instead i'm going to say no
i'm not living my life to be always pleasing.
but living my life for myself.
MYSELF.
and yes, i've been pretty negative lately unknowingly
but i trust that i'll be back to my optimistic me :)
i guess i'm still recovering back from that set back
i know i'm trying to let go.
i'm still thinking of my uncle, and i still can't believe what has happened
but i must know that at least i once had him
that dream, that happy him in my dream, i know he's asking me to let go
he's happy in heaven, so i shall not worry anymore.
i just need some time to heal the wounds.
i know i'll be happier after sometime
and i really will
:) so ya, i'll be back on!
for now, i'm heading to rest :D